And then, let me end of this post with something emo.

CAUTION: if you don't want your new year eve to be destroyed, please do not read the following.

I have been facing a lot of problems in the past few week. I didn't say anything on my blog, doesn't mean I am happy and not caring about stuff. I have been thinking and emo a lot. I am stuck with an old problem, a new problem, friends problem and job problem.

I have been trying to make everyone happy. Everything I do, is to make everyone around me happy at the expense of my own happiness. It just really hurts me when you guys do not understand my own standing. I may have done wrongly, but my intention is just to make all of you guys happy. But when I try to make myself happy now, it created a lot of problems. Does that mean my purpose in life is to make people around me happy? I am really tired to checking out all the time if my friends are happy a not. Sometimes, it made me feel guilty for not doing some stuff instead of doing others. I guess its my character that made me upset.

A short review of 2008....

I stayed, I waited, hoping that things will be better. But it didn't. I am tired of everything. I just wanna move on. When I finally can move on to find my own happiness, everyone condemned me like it is totally my fault. I just wanna move out of the unhappy zone. Is it so difficult? I know it is difficult for some people, but I have gone through it before. I know it is difficult. Time is all it needs. I am tried of facing this problem already. After so long, so so long, it is still haunting me. Why can't anyone understand that what I am doing is not meant to hurt anyone, but just to find my own happiness?

Throughout this period, I am always thankful for my girls for being on my side even when everyone was against me(just because I do not talk about my point of view). I know you girls are really my best friends, so I know you girls will always be there for me. This is probably the reason why I may treat you girls for granted. I just wanna make this right. I've been trying to make you girls happy too, everytime I stay random and happy. I do not want any of my emoness affect you. I read what you girls are feeling, I tried to make it right for you girls. Probably not enough. Next year, I'll try even harder to make us closer kies. I'll do more of the planning kies Just, try to understand me please.

Looking back at this year, I've grown up quite a bit, experience quite a bit. New happiness, means new challenges. New challenges means more strength to hang on. But, the old problems just keep haunting me and making me guilty about my new happiness. Old problems just really made me feel if i am worth my new happiness. I really want this happiness to last. The next month of test is gonna be really tough. I guess it really determines a lot. But, the old problems had already made things bad enough. I just really hope that things will turn out fine.

So, hang on all of you guys. I am trying to hang on to all of these. It is really hard, but just, try to hang on.

Happy new year to you all. (: